So I wanted to go to the movies tonight. I checked the listings, and then I checked Rottentomatoes.com. No point in throwing money away, eh? Pretty dismal. We have New Moon. Teenage vampires/werewolves/virgins written by a Mormon who obviously has some issues with all three. 29% . Men Who Stare at Goats, well intentioned parapsychology and George Clooney, but off the mark, sort of like some of his directorial efforts. 54%. This Is It, Michael Jackson, 81%. Ok, I'm down with the King of Pop thing, but hey, he did like little boys, so I'm not enthralled, and this got high marks, which just goes to show people only care about sentimentality, one of the few things that gets the masses excited these days. It's allright, I mean just because you're a pedophile doesn't mean you can't be a good performer, but for me the music isn't all that good, you know? Moving on. The Blindside. Sandra Bullock taking in an orphan who turns out to be a football star? I think I've seen this one before. Radio? Please. 69%. A Christmas Carol, with Jim Carrey. This is crap. 56% Try DVD for the real thing. Precious, 91%. Ok, I have to look at this. Whoops. I'm sure it's a real heartbreaker but frankly I'm finding it difficult to identify with a 300 pound half-literate chick from the projects who's been on Oprah. The Oprah part is enough to send me packing.
Don't get excited, I'm not some hating sports-cartoon-racist-music monster. I'm just looking for a movie that makes me think or laugh and gives me a moment of awe, that I don't feel guilty about recommending later. Not happening. I think the "studios" are saving it up for December. Gosh, I hope so. When I think about the amounts of $$ these gems cost, I get nauseous. Hope everybody in Hollywood has a merry Christmas, but they aren't going to do it on my dime.
Say it with me now, "Waste your money, and everybody in Hollywood just made a buck or two off the brain-dead American public."
Yikes. Go to the video store, or the bookstore, even better.
